While some of you were celebrating the Jewish New Year, ABC brought the Shonda Rhimes trio (“Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal” and “How to Get Away with Murder”) to TVs everywhere. Fans have been anticipating the fourth season of “Scandal” since last season’s finale left us feeling…well, depressed (RIP Jerry Grant).

So, the show’s back and Olivia and Jake are sitting on a beach. She’s reading “Gone Girl,” Jake’s being Jake and it’s hard to determine if this is actually the show or my dream from last night. Needless to say, shirtless Jake Ballard is hotter than the sun, even on this beautiful, beachy island. Olivia goes by the name Julia Baker, but still loves fancy wine and the delivery of a glass is accompanied by Harrison’s death announcement.

Obviously, she goes back to D.C. in the first five minutes, which no one is surprised by. She somehow gets a perfect blowout on the way. Quinn (in an upgraded wardrobe) is the only gladiator left standing, which makes us miss Harrison because he was secretly the favorite A in OPA. Huck is a genius bar worker named Randy, and Abby is killing it as the White House Press Secretary.

Mellie walks through the Oval Office in her pajamas, ditching the traditional first lady role and doing her own thing. Fitz is pretty liberal now, so the GOP is pissed. Shockingly, the Grant White House Round Two is bipartisan, super functioning, addressing women's issues and a not–so–subtle hint at what our administration should probably be.

Abby and Liv fight, but the team predictably comes together later at Harrison’s funeral with “Bridge Over Troubled Water” playing in the background. To clarify, Liv’s dad did not kill Harrison, but he did kill her mom (because Fitz told him too). President Grant: 1, Terrorist mother of President’s mistress: 0.

Jake pays a visit to our boy David Rosen, who really messed things up with Abby and didn’t take down B613, even after color–coating the scary files. He might not have the girl, but by the end of the episode this Democrat will be Attorney General.

Things start to get interesting when Olivia gets a call from Senator Vaughn, who thinks she just killed Senator Sterling. Olivia ditches the Julia shit and decides to help the senator, who claims she was sexually assaulted. This is a TBT (yes, the show airs on Thursdays) to the cases OPA used to take on and why we fell in love with the show in the first place. Turns out, Senator Vaughn’s staffer Kate was actually assaulted and set up as bait. A girl might have been abused, but it’s all good because the Equal Pay Bill will totally pass now. That’s feminism, right?

In other news, Mellie has a few scenes where she steals the show as a mother in mourning (Bellamy Young kills it). Fitz vows not to see Olivia and maybe their marriage isn’t as horrible as their sex lives. Oh, except that he tried to kill himself on a bad night. The show now throws in decently vulgar language to be edgy or something. Also, Cyrus is still an absolutely horrible person and character. And Gettysburger has changed their menu.

Needless to say, we can’t wait for the new scandals, fake female empowerment speeches and Team Jakemoments that season four has in store!


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