Have you seen James Franco's movie Palo Alto? We did. It sucked. TOTALLY unrepresentative of the Shallow Alto lifestyle. There weren't any prep schools. Or mentions of boba, computer science, Steve Jobs or insider trading. This week, for no particular reason, Lowbrow interviewed Palo Alto, CA natives to discover what it's really like working at a Silicon Valley startup.
Street: Describe a day in the life at a startup.
Shallow Altan: Don't wear jeans and a Palantir shirt to work? You're fired.
Street: What's your daily commute like?
SA: Longboards. Longboards everywhere.
Street: Sounds fun. Are there any other perks of the job?
SA: THE FOOD IS AMAZING... so is the people-watching. That guy who photobombed your selfie? Founder of Snapchat. That bitch who cut you in line? Worth 89 of your kidneys.
Street: Let's talk work–life balance.
SA: There are beds, restaurants, gyms and bars at the office, so you will NEVER leave. BA-BYE, family! Coding is your life now.
Street: What might surprise people about California?
SA: When it rains, work is cancelled because people are scared to go outside.
Street: What might surprise people about Silicon Valley?
SA: English is a dead language. People communicate in complex shorthand (ex: Python, Java, C++, CS, FML, ROFL).
Street: Finish this sentence: You know you work at a start-up when...
SA: WIRED is your homepage. You haven't been outside in years.
Street: Last question on behalf of Penn students everywhere: Are you hiring?
SA: What's Penn? Is that an app?