Locust: The coked-out, overworked, exhausted one. Why is he always up? Why is he never quiet? Doesn’t he need to sleep for at least like, four hours a night? He always leaves his trash on the street and it’s just the worst.

Walnut: The basic. Only seen eating salads and wearing black. 

Spruce: The unreliable one. Would text you back three days later like nothing happened. Also, spends way too much time at Wawa, Allegro, and Copabanana. They’re essentially made of fried food eaten between the hours of 1:00 and 2:00 a.m.

Pine: Amazing at appearing like she has her shit together. She seems gorgeous and pretty and quiet, but in reality, she hosts parties every weekend and literally never shuts up. Also, why does she always take so long to go places?

Delancey: Thinks it’s adorable that she’s tiny and wears pastels. Goes to darties to take pictures, but leaves when she gets a stain on her pinstriped jumpsuit.

Baltimore: That guy that everyone’s ghosted. No one ever consciously hangs out with him. He’s that guy in class who can’t stay focused and goes on ridiculously annoying tangents at all times.


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