Inspired by the now infamous Vagina Monologues men everywhere have demanded that dicks be recognized for their beauty, elegance, and inherent child-producing capabilities: these are the Cock and Balls Dialogue. If your cock dressed up for an evening party, and your balls came as the date, what would they wear? My cock would wear a plain white t-shirt with a coffee stain in the back and a white mesh hat reading "keep on truckin'". I think my balls would be a bit trickier to dress: perhaps something with a little slack, a little style, and comfortable. Must be comfortable. My balls are shy though, and more conservative too; I'd think a loose pair of slacks for my balls would be apt. My angry dick, and sad sad balls. I remember the first time I masturbated- it was a rainy day in my hometown, no one was playing outside and I finished all my homework early. I must've been 12 years old. I was in the bathroom peeing, when I became aware of my penis. As if suddenly, out of no where, God had given me this golden cock and I was put on this Earth to praise it. I became curious, like a retard trying to figure out a Rubik's cube, and I wanted to use it. It became a tool and I became its master. At first I just stroked it gently, but then as it became more arousing, I violently pumped it like an old school Super Soaker. God, what a glorious day that was. Reclaiming Cock and acknowledging my balls. I'll say it...cock! Cock! So what? The word cock almost exclusively seems to be used in conjunction with something torturous. But cock, and least of all balls, shouldn't carry that connotation. My cock is beautiful, thumping with the blood my heart once needed. That huge vein right down the middle...goddamn that's sexy. It's a cock...the ultimate sperm donor and better of two heads. Wait? What's that I smell lurking about, but always one step behind? Ooh, my balls. Yes, you too are beautiful, but stick close little ones and don't stray too far away. What a marvelous miracle you both are. If your cock and balls could talk, what would they say? My dick spits when he talks...and trust me, he talks a lot. I mean, sometimes I'll have two or three conversations with him a day. He also loves cookies, but never dips them in milk. This one time he asked me for a bite of a cracker, which was funny at the time because I wasn't eating a cracker. Haha...well, I guess you'd have to be there.

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