Virgins or Erotomaniacs: Blossoming Sexuality in Late 19th Century Jaffe Building 201 3405 Woodland Walk Free Ha! Let's say someone in the 19th century was neither a virgin or an erotomaniac. Like, she'd had sex, but only with one guy, and that was her brother. Or she knew how to speak Greek and Latin and had kissed eleven people but had only had sex with two of them and never on a first date. The title of this talk just seems a little blunt and pigeon-holing. Because there is something between being a slut and being a virgin and those people existed in the 19th century, they were just quieter about it. See how good this talk will be? It hasn't even started and the academic debate has already begun. Worth every penny. Whosoever Will, Let Him Come Houston Hall 3417 Spruce Street Sat, April 19, 7 p.m. $5 dolphin.upenn.edu/~nspirit "New Spirit of PENN Gospel Choir, Penn's only Gospel Choir!" This is all it says on New Spirit's homepage, so if you go to the url listed above, well, there is just no use following it, as you won't really get any information. Gospel music is cool though, as you probably know from your time in Black Baptist Church or watching movies that take place in Black Baptist Churches. Always fun, always loud, always followed by grits and chitlins. Show me a chitlin and I'm there. (They're probably won't be chitlins. I don't even know what a chitlin is. I'm a vegetarian.) Arbor Day Celebration Morris Arboretum 100 Northwestern Ave Sun, April 27, 1 p.m. www.morrisarboretum.com Free This is a day filled with lots of tree-activities. When I was seven my parents bought me a tree, and I planted it with my miniature rak and my miniature hoe. It never grew any apples. Perhaps the deer nibbled at it too frequently, perhaps it had no other apples trees nearby to fertilize it, perhaps it was a piece-of-shit-tree or perhaps it wasn't an apple tree to begin with. I guess we'll never know. I am still mad at my dad though, because he gave me a defective tree. What an asshole. Read OfF Kelly Writers House 3805 Locust Walk Sun, April 27, 6:30-8 p.m. Free Students of Professor Paul Hendrickson's advanced non-fiction and documentary writing classe will be reading some of the garbage... I mean great quality stuff they have written. This could very well be the highlight of the semester. You may not know this, but Street's Managing Editor will be reading some of his lovely things at this event, and frankly, he's pretty dreamy. That's right, I said dreamy. So head on down there and talk to the boy (he's available), or just make fun of him. It may be the best thing you do all year. Holocaust Remembrance Day Name Reading Vigil College Green Mon, April 28, 9 p.m. - Tues, April 29, 9 p.m. Free There's nothing funny about the Holocaust. Readings by Creative Writing Contest Winners Kelly Writers House 3805 Locust Walk Tue, April 29, 6 p.m. Free www.english.upenn.edu/~wh/ Do not get this contest confused with Street's similar contest just a few weeks ago. These people are effete Kelly Writer's House people. They are like the Delicious Dishers of Penn. (Note: Delicious Dish has been coming up way too often in standard conversations of late. Must watch fewer SNL reruns, and do more work or go outside on occasion.) These are the Anna Gasteyer's of Penn. They will probably be really successful short story writers someday, so get with their program, and hear them read. They may be too hop to hip, but they're not too hip to hop. Renaissance Dancing Class Houston Hall236 Tue, April 29, 7:30 p.m. Free This is dance with a 'tude. The Renaissance is everywhere these days, and you don't want to be the only guy at the Alphalpha Theta Zepsilon formal not breaking out in the moves 'o' love as Renaissance dance is apt to be called. Or think about it this way -- you, your honey, a loaf of bread and one of those weird Renaissance skirts. Kinky, right? Plus, afterwards you guys can grab a quick bite at Houston Hall, or the hall 'o' love as Houston Hall is apt to be called. You wuss. Just do it.

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