Bon Jovi
Veterans Stadium
3551 S. Broad St.
Sat., July 26
7 p.m., $55-75
(215) 685-1500
Now, I'm not in particular what you would call a Bon Jovi fan. I don't suppose you could even really call me an supporter. But I am an admirer. Why, you ask. Go ahead. ASK! Anyway, I am what you might call an admirer of Bon Jovi. I don't particularly like his or the rest of his band's music. But that band can get the girls goin, know what I'm sayin? I'm telling you: go to a bar sometime, a college bar, maybe, that doesn't necessarily have people only of a legal age, and watch the crowd's reaction when "Living on a Prayer" comes on. They must get serious panties thrown at them.
Disney's Beauty and the Beast--National Tour
Academy of Music
Broad and Locust Streets
Now through 8/3
Check times, $27.50-87.50
(215) 893-1935
I will admit to liking some cultural things that are really supposed to be only for children: Monsters, Inc. was a DAMN fine movie. And Roald Dahl is still my favorite author. But Disney movies aren't up my alley at the moment. Don't know if they ever were, really. Beauty and the Beast, though? That's the hot shit. And when I say hot, I don't mean hot like cool in a totally weird oxymoronic way. I mean hot like sexified. A giant beast falls in love with a virginal French girl l of an indeterminate age? That shit is hot. In fact, it's led us to a new motto here at Street: "Beastiality. It's not just for adults anymore."
Grossology: the (impolite) science of the human body
The Franklin Institute
222 N. 20th St.
Now through 9/1
9:30 a.m.-5 p.m., $10-12.75
(215) 448-1200
I've been led to believe that Grossology involves some sort of education on all the gross shit that comes out of our bodies: noises, fluids, (not sexual, perv: this exhibit is mostly for the kiddies.) etc. Now, I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty interesting to me, because I'd like an explanation as to why my roommate from this past year used to constantly fart in his sleep. Loudly. That was just gross, as was he in general. Plus, I' m pretty sure he was an alcoholic. That's right, I just got revenge. In print. Ha!
Summertime with DJ Jazzy Jeff
Denim
1712 Walnut St.
Thu., July 24
10 p.m., $15
(215) 735-6700
There are three things I like about this listing: one, it involves DJ Jazzy Jeff, who is entirely too out of the picture these days. I mean, he's a great producer, a great DJ, he pioneered the transformer scratch, AND Uncle Phil used to throw him out the front doorr all the time. The other thing about this listing that's cool is that the whole thing is at Denim. For those of you who don't know, and this is all of you, I have an invitation to something at Denim Wednesday. Cocktails and h'ors d'oeuvres will be served at 5, dinner at 6. This is pretty fucking sweet. Thethird good thing about this listing. The night that DJ Jazzy Jeff is spinning, there will be a bikini contest at midnight with a $500 prize. Now, first of all, Denim is very careful only to let the beautiful people of Philadelphia attend. And then offer the beautiful people $500? Gonna be a whole lot of shaking going on.
Delaware on the Fast Track: History of NASCAR
Delaware History Museum
504 N. Market St.
Wilmington, DE
Now through 9/20
10 a.m-4 p.m., M-F, 12 p.m-4 p.m., Sat., Free-$4
(302) 656-0637
Cool thing about NASCAR: It started because moonshiners in the South began building faster cars and driving at higher speeds in order to outrun the Feds. Uncool thing about NASCAR: All you do is watch cars drive. Around a big circle. For hours. Frankly, I'd rather watch the paint peel off of my walls because of the radioactive waves the aliens send through it. The point is, the only thing to really watch NASCAR for is the crashes. And if you're like Homer Simpson, and I know I am, you'll probably miss one. And then you'll duck, and Maude will be hit by t-shirts and fall and die. Oh, the humanity!
