So here's what happened. We were supposed to interview the old man who hands out La Rouche pamphlets but he stood us up. We decided to walk down Locust Walk and do short interviews with the students running the booths. Look, this is my last serious interview as an editor, and I, Scott Haller, wanted to ask everyone about sex, mousey style or otherwise, because it makes me laugh on the inside, and that's where it counts. Enjoy!
Brett Shaheen
What's your goal out here?
We are raising money to donate books to inner city kids.
How are you doing that?
Selling coffee and hot chocolate donated by Gia Pronto.
Have you ever seen two mice having sex?
(Awkward silence)... no. No more questions.
Katie Issman
Matt Crespi
Tell us what you are doing here.
K: This is our management 100 project. We are throwing a semi-formal dance this Saturday. The theme is Wild On Monaco and we have gambling, dancing, a DJ, some hip-hop groups performing and all of the money goes to fight sweatshop labor.
M: We are working with EMPOWR, which is an anti-sweatshop group.
How do you guys feel about the old man who hands out pamphlets on the compass? We were supposed to interview him.
M: He is weirder than we are.
K: Yeah, he definitely draws a bigger crowd.
He is also irresponsible and not punctual. How do you feel about the guy at this book booth telling us "no more questions" after we asked about mouse sex.
K: He is obviously not as cool as we are.
M: I'm all for freedom of the press.
Meredith Uhl
Niva Kramek
What are you guys doing here?
N: We are Penn for Choice, a student organization promoting reproductive rights and freedom on campus. This is the beginning of Choice Week. Yesterday we had a successful Contraception Day.
What does that consist of?
N: We give out contraceptives and educate people on how to use them. Then we showed a movie about contraception.
What kind of movie was that?
Fast Times at Richmont High.
This "My Bush is Pro-Choice" t-shirt. Would that slogan work better on pants?
N: We were thinking about making a Penn for Choice thong, but we couldn't find a printer in our budget.
Jeff William
Alice Crane
Just how much Brass and Sass is in your show?
J: Tons of Brass and Sass.
What's the ratio of Brass to Sass?
J: I would say about 50/50.
Is there Brass Sass?
A: Definitely. I'm the brass sass.
How do you feel about SDT selling tickets right across from you?
J: Well, technically they aren't even allowed to be here. And they are stealing our flyerage.
Didn't they lose their charter?
J: I think it was suspended.
Since there will be so much brass and sass, I want to give you this planned parenthood condom.
J: Thanks, it's going in the box.
Exactly where it belongs.
Jordana Goren
What are you advertising?
We are having our Dischord co-ed a cappella show on Sunday night, 7 p.m. at Dunlop. It's called "Sofa King Cool." We're a community service group and we teach music to children and just finished a performance benefit that raised over $1,100 for charity.
Do you have a strategy for passing out flyers?
Basically I pick out a boy and I go up to him and kind of unzip my shirt and give him a flier. And it seems to be a good strategy.
Have you ever seen two SDT girls having sex?
No, I don't ever go to SDT.
Soham Dabe
Jay Patel
What are you promoting here?
J: We are having a fund raiser dinner for the Hindu Students Council on Wednesday. It will have performances by Damaka and Pennaach. And we are selling drinks.
So we can go to the dinner and hear Pennaach and Damaka, what else?
J: There is a fully catered meal, and it's only $7.
Have you ever seen cows having sex?
J: No, I haven't.
How about Donkeys.
J: No.
Have you ever seen anything having sex?
J: On TV.
Do you think you will find a special someone at the fund raiser?
S: I think that's a big possibility. And that's why everybody should come.
Is that why you are here now?
S: There is no better way to see fine Penn women than on the walk.
Laurence Lemaire
Michelle Chikaonda
Tell us about your event.
L: Alpha Chi Omega is hosting a Quizzo night for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. $5 to enter, all you can eat food.
M: Ethnic foods from Africa, China, Japan... It's going to be in Logan Hall Terrace room.
What's the significance of your star necklace?
L: It's a Harry Potter thing.
Do you have a Ring of Power necklace, too?
L: No, I'm missing that one. Maybe Christmas.
Have you ever seen two Hobbits having sex?
L: No, but that would be pretty funny to see. How would that work?
Probably just like regular sex only smaller.
L: But aren't Hobbits even shorter than Midgets?
That doesn't matter, even mice can have sex. Have you ever seen mice have sex?
L: I haven't. Have you ever seen two giant turtles having sex?
No.
L: Those things make the loudest sounds ever!
What about you, Michelle. Have you ever seen two strange animals having sex?
M: No.
Well that makes one of us.
