This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
John Carroll
I get it already, I'm nice. That's why I love Street. Anyone can look nice next to these assholes. But really, you've all been great (even if Ross was better than Alex).
Grant Ginder
Good Riddance, Street's helped me drink. A lot. In fact, some people have suggested that I go to meetings. But no sir, not Grant Ginder. Thank you, Street, for teaching me that quitting's for pussies.
Nickie Huang
Thank you, Street for realizing my gluttonous and alcoholic potential and then exposing those serious health concerns to the masses. Now, I will never have a serious journalistic career and will most likely perish in a pool of my own post-happy hour vomit.
Alex Koppelman
Street was my everything, my fire and my life and my soul. Then I came home to find it with another man, a dog and Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA). Goodbye, Street. I used to love you.
Kevin Lo
There's nothing like seeing a stack of discarded Streets every Thursday. Fuck you, Penn.
Megha Narayan
If I've ever insulted you, it's because I was uncomfortable. If I've ever laughed loudly around you, it's because I was uncomfortable. And if I've ever hooked up with you, it's because I was drunk.
Abby Natelson
Goodbye Street. Its been a pleasure exposing some dirty secrets, getting free drinks, and being a part of the cultural elite. As the most unqualified editor of the bunch, thanks for letting me be a part of the team.
Clayton Neuman
Do you know what "Goodbye" means? It's a contraction for "God Be With You." That's right, God. Frankly I find that insulting. Did anyone ever consider the fact that I was Buddhist?
Clare O'Connor
If you're reading this, chances are we've made out. I'll miss you! I thought working here would keep me hipper-than-thou but I'm still in Polo and pearls. Cool.
Ilena Parker
Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Eugenia Salvo
Working at Street has been like living in a toilet: too much shit to take care of, not enough cleaning supplies. I'll miss you dearly. If I could cry, I would.
Zach Smith
Goodbye? Why do I have to say goodbye? You said our love would never perish. You said the passion would never die. You said you would be mine forever. Oh Street. Thank God I no longer have to acknowledge your loathsome presence (or just Koppelman's).
Rebecca Simon
