OK, so the Owls are a bunch of douchebags. Sure, they come from Paris and Athens -- but we're talking Texas and Georgia, not France and Greece. And their accents? About as fake as that term paper you wrote for Communications and Popular Culture. Just admit it: the battle between Britney and Christina doesn't constitute an academic subject.
But quite frankly, we don't care. There's something to be said for a nondescript European drawl and a pair of extra-tight Energies. Maybe you haven't gotten the picture yet, but the best version of yourself ... well ... it's just not good enough. That said, we're continuing to give you some worthwhile alternatives; different molds of you to help your pathetic station in life. As always, feel free to mix between the options -- creating a cocktail, if you will (and believe us, we will) of superior personalities. Some people consider soup kitchens charity, others prefer orphanages. Us? Well, just consider us the Mother Theresas of cool, and you're that drooling, unhip child in Calcutta.
We've done Geek Chic, now enter Eurotrash: an entirely new breed of hip. Some of them hail from across the pond, while others come from your own backyard in the dirty Jerz. Like fake tits and Gucci bags, authenticity comes in second to presentation. You've lived a lie up until now, why stop here. So whip out the styling gel, slap on some chest hair, and let's get crackin'.
