Sunday May 29, 2005, 12:58 p.m.: Just walked out of shower. Dancing in underwear singing "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5 when power goes off. 1:03: Look outside. Hall lights are still on; figure it's just my room. Get dressed and take elevator down from 17th floor to report outage. 1:04: Power goes out in elevator between floors 12 and 13. Three of us are in elevator, all guys. Make awkward conversation about Memorial Day barbecues. 1:06: Elevator powers up and moves down to first floor. Girl at info desk tells me whole building is now out. 1:10: Make trip to Fresh Grocer to buy emergency supplies. 1:30: Made purchase of the essentials: Wheat Thins, Tupperwear, strawberry jam, limited edition Kellogg's Star Wars cereal, E.L. Fudge cookies, barbecue sauce and flashlight. 1:35: Re-enter Harrison. Power still down and elevators inactive. Begin trek up 17 flights of stairs with Fresh Grocer bags. 1:38: Rest break on 7th floor. 1:41: Rest break on 11th floor. 1:44: Mad dash to 17th floor. 1:45: Chug everything left in Brita. 1:46: Sit in chair for five minutes and listen as beating heart is exploding in chest. Make mental note to go to Pottruck more often. 1:51: Purge mental note from memory, eat five E.L. Fudge cookies. 1:52: Put away rest of groceries. 1:58: One-hour mark. Sit on the couch and stare out window at cloud formations. Ponder meaning of life. Cloud looks like MacGyver. 2:20: Begin to think this would make funny piece in Street. Begin to make notes. 2:30: Cry when realization is made that this isn't funny. Conclude I suck at writing, life. 2:32: Become distracted by Frisbee. Play catch against self in the hall. 2:36: Pretend computer is working and have AIM conversations with fake friend Charlie. ROFL! 2:38: Hunger sets in. Make salad with ingredients found in apartment, including: Wheat Thins, tuna fish, Reese's Puffs, granola bars and Nutella. 2:40: Throw up contents in bathroom. Attempts to flush are futile because of power outage; apartment starts to smell like mix of wet dog and low tide. Wash mouth out with Cherry Coke. 2:42: Set up audience of stuffed animals, lamps, and kitchen appliances. Recite famous monologues, including JFK's inauguration speech, Lincoln's Gettysburg address and Dr. Evil's therapy session from Austin Powers. 2:58: Two-hour mark. Attempt to discover how many licks it takes to get to center of Tootsie Pop. 3:07: 528 licks. 3:10: Power is restored. Plop butt down on couch and watch hottie Danica Patrick finish 4th in Indy 500. Life is good again.