College seems to redefine the strata of friendship.
As we learn to look at our academics with more nuance, it's only natural this would spread to friendship. But a level of friendship mired between acquaintance and BFF can just be awkward.
What's the standard-bearer for this level? Hanging out on the weekends.
You've definitely had this conversation three to four times in the last month:
"Are you guys good friends?"
"Well, I mean, we know each other, but we don't like, hang out on the weekends."
This bizarre middle ground has slowly evolved.
In elementary school, you don't really even select your friends. I would ask my mom each Friday what the plans were for the weekend. She would usually respond "You are going to _____'s house to play. You will be there at four." Ah, play dates.
In middle school, as you develop something more of a consciousness (albeit a ridiculous one), you can avoid any social pressure with the excuse "my mom can't drive me to your house. So, like, that's it right there."
It gets slightly rougher in high school, what with the cars and all. But even then, being a 10-minute drive from your (potential) friends, you can always hide in the dark corner of a basement rather than go anywhere. Or you can mumble something about a family obligation.
But in college, potential friendship -- as with most things -- naturally protracts to the most stressful scenario. Here's how it goes down:
1. Meet X in class who you have one or two things in common with.
2. Develop a sense of security with X, realize you have a mutual friend.
3. Work on a group project with X, get an A-.
Where to go from (3) is the tricky part. You obviously get along with X, so why not ask them to hang out on Saturday? It would be strange not to, right?
"Hey, wow, some project that was, eh? A-! Cool. Right. So yeah, a few friends of mine are going to New Deck on Saturday, wanna come?"
"Oh," replies X, visibly dismayed, "I have like, homework. And other friends. But maybe next semester, or whatever."
And that's that. X will be neither an acquaintance nor a friend, but a "person you know but don't hang out with on the weekends" for the rest of your college career. X, of course, probably sucks.
-- Jim
