It's two weeks into the semester, and you're a freshman still studying a now-faded campus map in a desperate attempt to find the way from the Quad to DRL C12 for that 9 a.m. recitation. Or you're an upperclassman just realizing the Museum has classrooms. Let's face it: we could all use a re-orientation. Though our map won't reveal the quickest route between Commons and the Engineering Quad, it will clue you into what is truly integral to guiding yourself at Penn. And tomorrow when you head out in the morning rush, you'll be cooler, wiser and slightly less broke. even if you still can't find Goddard Labs.
frogro
The Fresh Grocer, affectionately dubbed FroGro (not to be confused with Marathon Grill's beloved fro yo), may seem like your standard overpriced neighborhood supermarket at first glance, but it's a store that knows its clientele. Let's face it, who other than cheap, lazy and inebriated college students would shell out a few bucks for day-old pizza and fried chicken? In a scheme students call "midnight madness," the grocery's prepared-foods section sells its leftovers at discounted prices after 12 a.m. And that's not FroGro's only dollar deal. If you don't feel like walking to the Video Library at 41st and Locust, check out the RedBox next to the store's entrance for a selection of $1 DVD rentals that pop out vending machine-style. Of course, FroGro is stocked with most of the basics, too. Just don't make the mistake of trying to wheel a grocery cart full of ice and mixers back to your high rise apartment when you're too lazy to carry the bags - the carts are equipped with security locks to prevent theft.
The bookstore
Penn's bookstore is not just any old textbook warehouse. It is actually a Barnes & Noble superstore, complete with tens of thousands of books, every magazine you can imagine, extensive music and film sections and a fully stocked café. Use your PennCard to bursar (read: charge to Mom and Dad) an iPod at the Computer Connection, or if you're creative, go for the board games (to satisfy your inner nerd), 90210 DVD sets (because the original is still boss), kama sutra books (with pictures!) and all the Penn-branded gear you could ever want. The bookstore is also conveniently located next to Pod, Penn's very own see-and-be-seen trendy Asian hotspot. Discouraged by the prices? Take note that lunch specials go for as little as $12, less than the cost of a meal in Commons. (That's right, you're paying $12.72 for every meal you swipe - and for every meal you don't). If sushi isn't your thing, Cosi is right next door (flatbread, strawberry lemonade and s'mores, anyone?). Not to mention, the bookstore is within steps of Urban Outfitters and American Apparel, meaning you too can look like a true Penn student in trendy tees, rainbow hoodies and oversized sunglasses. But be warned that professional supercreep Dov Charney's ubiquitous and fluorescently lit store runs awfully low on stock during pledging season and, of course, during the fast-approaching Halloween weekend.
sansom street
Between 34th and 36th Streets on Sansom is a world oft-forgotten by undergraduates. The La Colombe coffee cup from Saturn Club - also a spot for haircuts, waxing, manicures and massages - is the universal mark of the grad student, though intellectuals-in-training of any age should look next door to Avril 50 to feed their addictions to caffeine, tobacco and obscure reading materials. Stop by Bubble House for bubble tea before study sessions, and visit the bars at White Dog and La Terrasse (known as LT's by the frat-lunching crowd) for the cheaper - but equally tasty - eats on their grill menus. What's more, White Dog may just be the greenest spot on campus, serving only locally-grown organic food and relying solely on wind power for electricity, not to mention its counterpart boutique The Black Cat, perfect for unique last-minute birthday gifts.
beige block
Oh, beloved Beige Block, with its monochromatic row houses and charming keggers. The veritable nucleus of off-campus cool, Beige is the 200-block of 41st Street, stretching from Walnut to Spruce. The natural post-chapter house move for many, Beige is Campus Apartments' overpriced answer for the Greek and pseudo-Greek masses. Despite the PBR/Natty Light carnage from a "totally awesome rager" at one of the off-campus frats, the houses are well-kept (generally) and the rooms are big (usually), and a lucky few get to bask in the West Philly rarity that is central air. Some houses are equipped with porches, backyards, parking spots and the like, but let's face it - it's all about location, location, location. Far enough from the Quad, close enough to classes (and Smoke's), it's easy to see the appeal. Want to secure your own piece of prized property? Chances are slim, as most houses are passed down by seniors to their underclassman minions, so start sucking up now.
west of 40th
Though conventional wisdom warns against venturing out of the Penn bubble and into the real world, the neighborhoods west of 40th Street are in fact spotted with culinary and cultural gems. For cheap eats, head to Pho Café Saigon at 4248 Spruce, where large, authentic Vietnamese noodle bowls are served up faster than your Subway sandwich under Commons. At 43rd and Locust, Koch's Deli, a Penn favorite with a disturbingly loyal following, makes some of the best (and biggest) deli sandwiches in the city. For a more upscale experience, Rx (the Sunday brunch hotspot at 44th and Spruce) and Marigold Kitchen (a quaint BYOB on 45th Street - reservations are a must!) are both short and pleasant tree-lined strolls from campus. A trip west of 40th would not be complete without a stop at Green Line Café, whose two hipster-attracting locations at 4239 Baltimore and 4426 Locust offer an admittedly refreshing change of pace from Sunday morning table wars at Bucks. The Green Line on Baltimore is across the street from Clark Park, so grab a coffee and find a bench in this nine-acre oasis, which also hosts a farmers' market on Saturdays from 10-2 and Thursdays from 3-7 through Thanksgiving.
superblock
Superblock, the 3900 stretch of Locust Walk, is home to the three high rise dorms - Harrison, Harnwell and Rodin - arguably the best on-campus upperclassman housing option that Penn has to offer (though some frosh reside there, too). These campus giants provide great views of the city from their upper reaches, but beware the trade-off: the better your view, the worse your wait for an elevator during the weekday morning rush hour. More importantly, don't forget that the buildings' heavy-on-windows design means you can be on display at any time, so keep your blinds closed to avoid a repeat of 2006's infamous high rise window sex scandal. With their close proximity to Hillel, it's easy to swing by one of Penn's newest buildings on Friday nights for services and socializing, or stop by during the week to enjoy the kosher dining hall, considered by many to be better than Commons. The Superblock is bounded by two of Penn's most mocked works of public art: on the east by the red tubular arch structure popularly referred to as "The Dueling Tampons" and on the west by a set of metal platforms named "Plateau." Bundle up during the winter, as Superblock transforms into a fierce wind tunnel capable of slowing even the most determined student's trek to class. When warm weather returns, though, the high rises' ample lawns are a perfect place for frisbee, tanning and even the occasional game of Quidditch.
van pelt
Within the confines of this 1960s-designed landmark is the hottest spot at Penn east of 40th Street: Rosengarten. Best known as Rosenparty, Van Pelt's much loved basement level is open 24 hours Sunday -Thursday and is just as conducive to socializing as it is to late-night studying. Hang around Mark's Café as it closes (most nights at midnight), and you can score free coffee and leftover pastries. For monastic silence, cloister yourself in the upper floors; if you really seek solitude, try to be one of the few undergraduates to score their own carrel by speaking to the powers that be at the info desk on the first floor. The main elevators can be slow, so remember that another set exists on the west end, where President Gerald Ford is rumored to have gotten stuck decades ago. And one key reminder: When it comes to printing, Van Pelt is good - but the college houses do it better. B&W at VP runs $.08 a sheet and only $.07 in the dorms. Pennies, perhaps, but those Blackboard packets add up. Looking for free printing? Fear not, check out the LGBT Center.
the quad
The Quad is one of the most prominent and nostalgic campus landmarks, where hundreds of lucky freshmen bask in the glory of imposing neo-Gothic college houses named for generous trustees while battling rodent infestations and cramped quarters. For the rest of us, the Quad is synonymous with Spring Fling, that weekend-long celebration each April when Penn students remind themselves just how hard they can party. The Quad's complex architecture and seemingly infinite hall names can make it difficult to navigate. For reference, Baby Quad refers to the courtyard-like section of Riepe and the Nipple is the far end of Upper Quad, where the quadrilateral shape comes to a point. McClelland Hall is the only place on campus where you can exchange excess pre-paid meals (trust us, you'll have them) for water bottles, but be sure to start stocking up early in the semester. Turn to your RA for free condoms and Insomnia Cookies, or scour the Quad's bulletin boards to determine which hall event, club meeting or faculty master's open house will be providing you with tonight's complimentary snacks. To get through a stressful week, rent a season of your favorite TV show from your college house office, or better yet, head to the Bio Pond for some quality "meditation"
