Matt Selman, C’93, a writer for The Simpsons and Seinfeld, was the editor of our very own 34th Street Magazine. Is it a coincidence that he’s written for two of the most hilarious and successful sitcoms ever? We think not. His Street love is unparalleled — in a 2003 interview he told us, “I would never give money to Penn in a million years, but I would give money to Street.” Suck it, Penn.

Lew Schneider, C’83, has performed stand-up on HBO and produced and wrote for Everybody Loves Raymond. He also graduated cum laude from Penn, where he launched his comedic career as a member of The Mask and Wig Club.

Marc Platt, C’79 and David Stone, C’88 are producers of the show Wicked. When you see the show for the 10th time, or listen to the soundtrack for the 10,000th, you can thank a Penn Grad for bringing you “Defying Gravity.” We hope he’s happy, we hope he’s happy too.

Maury Povich, C’62, host of the Jerry Springer-esque show, Maury, brings you everyday drama, and makes you feel a little better about your own mundane life. Our favorite part? “Who’s Your Daddy?” which gives men a paternity test and reveals the results on the show. Trashy? Definitely. But oh-so-entertaining.

Scott Neustadter, C‘98, co-wrote (500) Days of Summer and Pink Panther 2. Quite a range, and we’re impressed! We also love that (500) Days of Summer was semi-autobiographical, and totally calls out his former heartthrob in the opening credits: “Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you, Jenny Beckman. Bitch.” You tell her, Scott.

Geoffrey Gilmore, C’74, directed the Sundance Film Festival’s programming for 19 years, and just this year left to take up the position of Chief Creative Officer of Tribeca Enterprises, owner of New York’s Tribeca Film Festival.