Admit it. You came to Penn thinking you’d learn a bunch of fancy new words and impress everyone with your Ivy-League vocabulary … but your TA barely speaks English. Never fear, Street is here! We’ve compiled a list of a dozen intelligent-sounding words to sprinkle into conversation. Whip one out in lecture, and who knows . . . you might just convince your Comp Lit professor that you really do deserve that B-.
1. Liminal, adj. – relating to sensory threshold, barely perceptible Don’t worry about stifling your sniffles, I’m sure everyone just thinks you have a cold. I promise, your coke-nose is liminal.
2. Pillory, v. – to attack or ridicule publicly After drunkenly peeing on a couch at Denim, she was extensively pilloried on JuicyCampus College ACB.
3. Polemic, adj. – strongly controversial, critical, or contentious Maybe we can convince Amy Gutmann to pose for a picture with that guy in the Hitler costume? I would die to post that on my blog; I’m aiming to be as polemic as possible.
4. Jejune, adj. – naive, simplistic, or superficial These freshman girls are so utterly jejune! Don’t they know that drinking that much jungle juice almost guarantees them a walk of shame tomorrow?
5. Polysemy, n. – many possible meanings of a word or phrase The polysemy of Penn lingo simply baffles me. When he said he loved the DP, I couldn’t tell if he was referring to the newspaper, or that somewhat popular but utterly leud sexual act.
6. Impecunious, adj. – poor and penniless Let’s not get drinks at Capogiro again. With those prices and my rampant alcoholism, I’ll soon be impecunious!
7. Endemic, n. – in reference to a condition, restricted to a particular area Did you know that about half of all college-aged kids have herpes? It’s not just endemic to that frat house!
8. Lugubrious, n. – gloomy and dismal Stop looking so lugubrious! Tell her it was your first time, and she’ll totally forgive last night’s two-minute performance.
9. Perfidious, adj. – deceitful and untrustworthy Don’t buy weed from that perfidious super-senior. It’s so weak; I’m pretty sure it’s half oregano.
10. Pulchritude, n. – incredible beauty Dude, I think that 7th shot of Banker’s really messed you up. You’re totally hallucinating her pulchritude. She’s a fatty, and if you go home with her, you’ll never live it down.
11. Sesquipedalian, adj. – excessively wordy, long winded Did you read that article in Street? No one in their right mind would use those words colloquially. You’d sound like a sesquipedalian jackass!
12. Solipsism, n. – a preoccupation with the self or one’s own kind Pretty much every Penn organization suffers from an acute case of solipsism. But not Mask & Wig. They’re just kind of a big deal.
