Elmo’s Sarah Stoecker is valiantly trying to start an a cappella group, but this improver has little time to belt the notes between brown–nosing the Cinema department, acting spontaneously and yelling about vaginas. Though she may or may not want Edward Cullen’s bod, the best Bill Cosby in town — at least since last week’s semi–coherent speaker — is one of the funniest on campus prior to 9 p.m. But really, she just wants to be your queen.
Street: Student representative to the Cinema Studies department — that sounds fancy… what does it mean? Sarah Stoecker: I hold the honor of acting as gatekeeper to the illustrious faculty of the Cinema Studies Department and to the legendary film collection deep in the bowels of 209A Fisher-Bennett. More practically, free DumDums and unlimited hangout time with my main man, Associate Director Nicola Gentili. La vita è bella!
Street: Being in Without a Net, do you feel pressure to be funny around the clock? S.S.: My writers are only on call until 9 p.m. Anytime after that and my jokes are as rotten as the produce at FroGro.
Street: What’s your favorite improv exercise? S.S.: It’s not so much an exercise as a spinoff group… we call ourselves Without a Note and have been secretly studying the formidable a cappella form. Sure, we’re new to the ACK scene but boy, have we got moxie and the beatboxing skills to back it up.
Street: Do you prefer scripted performance, like the Vagina Monologues, or improv? S.S.: I’ve gotta say improv. Our cause may not be as noble, but the Vag Mons cast never called me their Queen. And Net performs more than once a year, including this Friday at 8 p.m. in Rainey Auditorium a the Penn Museum. But for good measure rather than highlighting the passage of time… “Vagina!”
Street: What is the most underrated thing at Penn? Overrated? S.S.: Underrated: The Cinema Studies major. Where else can you write a thesis entitled “From Brando to Bloom: A Historical Study of America’s Sexiest Superstars?” Overrated: Jokes about kids from New Jersey. It’s gotta be tough to defend yourself when your only saving graces are Bon Jovi and a New York transit time of “seriously, like thirty minutes if traffic didn’t exist.” (Count it.)
Street: There are two types of people at Penn… ? S.S.: Those who think my Bill Cosby impression is hilarious, and those who still wet the bed.
Street: Any guilty pleasures? S.S.: Morphing together the faces of myself and the entire cast of Twilight to see what our kids would look like. Spoiler alert: impeccable cheekbones.
Street: What is the question everyone’s scared to ask you? S.S.: The question’s too uncouth to print, but I’ll tell you my answer: Yes, but only twice, and the Arizona State Trooper was kinda into it.
Street: Who is your celebrity doppleganger? S.S.: Not to brag or anything, but folks are always pointing out my striking resemblance to Viggo Mortensen. You should see their faces when I bust out my more–than–proficient Elvish vocabulary. I’m a real hit at parties.
Street: What’s your favorite Philly hotspot? S.S.: This little hole–in–the–wall between RadioShack and PNC on 40th Street. Shady Jay’s? Foggy Rob’s? Something like that.
Street: How big would you describe your ego to be? S.S.: Double–wide with a trailer hitched on back, just like the mobile home I left to study at the U of P.
