Don’t be surprised if the next time you turn on CNN you see Yoni Gruskin chatting up the anchors; he’s all over that. This economically–minded Phi Delt took a break from being a concerned youth to chat with Street about his likeness to our former Chief of Staff. Read up and find that the economic and political pitfalls of America are best explained by the greatest frat movie of all time.
Street: What is Concerned Youth of America?
Yoni Gruskin: CYA is a grassroots non–profit organization that hosts events to educate students about the national debt and its consequences for our future. The idea is that once our generation realizes how badly we are being short-changed, we will take a stand and demand real solutions. Since we started CYA, the national debt has increased by almost 60%. So, success… ?
Street: Where did you get the idea to start CYA?
Y.G.: I was sick and tired of hearing old politicians with white hair lecturing on TV about the evils of mortgaging their children’s futures, and then going back to the Senate floor and adding on more programs and tax cuts they can’t pay for to screw us over even more. My favorite movie has always been “Animal House,” and as Dean Wormer would say: “The time has come for somebody to put his foot down. And that foot is me.”
Street: Will you be a concerned adult too?
Y.G.: Probably not. I hope to follow the new American tradition of passing off all of my problems to other people. It’s more fun that way.
Street: What is the most underrated thing at Penn? Overrated?
Y.G.: Underrated: $1 shots at MarBar from 10–12 every night. I’m pretty sure that place could pay people to come and drink, and still have no more than five people show up. Overrated: Downtowns.
Street: There are two types of people at Penn… ?
Y.G.: The people you see every time you go to Smokes at 1 a.m. and the people you see everytime you walk into Huntsman at 1 a.m.
Street: Any guilty pleasures?
Y.G.: Jersey Shore marathons.
Street: You’ve just arrived at your 10–year college reunion. What would people be most surprised to hear about you?
Y.G.: Morgan Griff and I underwent surgery to average our heights. I am now the second tallest person in our class.
Street: If you could have a superpower for a day, what would it be?
Y.G.: Perfect voice impersonations. I love prank calls but I do terrible impressions of pretty much everybody.
Street: What is the question everyone’s scared to ask you?
Y.G.: How tall are you?
Street: Who is the coolest person you’ve ever met?
Y.G.: Two–Stroke. He’s a senior at CU Boulder I met while he was pregaming with a 4 Lokos power hour. Apparently that’s a nightly routine for him. Also, none of his best friends actually know his real name.
Street: Who is your celebrity doppleganger?
Y.G.: Rahm Emanuel.
