Joke Issue:
Dear Gloria, My daughter Mildred has just turned 16, and I’m worried stiff about her future. She’s a perfectly bright child with a nice smile and sunny curls, but she still hasn’t found a potential suitor! She’s also taken a worrisome liking to moon pies. What’s a mother to do? Sincerely, Mindful Momma
Dear Mindful Momma, I’ve never cared too much for children. Naturally, when I found myself pregnant with one, I had an abortion. Avec l’amour, Gloria Swanson
