This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.
Smize like there’s no tomorrow. If you don’t know what that means, what a pity. It means smiling with your eyes. Actual smiling is too wrinkly.
Give a fierce animal face. Duck face may accentuate your cheekbones, but the whole animal kingdom has something to offer. For example, show off those luscious lips with a seductive chipmunk mouth.
Black is slimming. And more is more.
Find your best angle: The acuter the cuter.
Hide. If it can’t be seen, it must be skinny.
If All Else Fails: Photoshop until you’re photohot. Remember: traditional anatomy is so 20th century.