DON’T: Waste time ruining your knees on the treadmill in the muggy hell that is Pottruck. DO: Head down to the waterfront and go for a run by the river. We’ll even throw in that nasty Schuylkill scent that really makes it feel like home.
DON’T: Awkwardly squeeze in between pledges and dozing post–thesis seniors on College Green. DO: Get your tan time on the roof of College Hall. Philo’s got the means, you've got the goods.
DON’T: Eat hot foods. Are you an idiot or something? DO: Capogiro ice cream (best in the world, supposedly) for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You’re in college, baby! Go wiiiild.
DON’T: Lock yourself away in Fisher to study. You breathe too loud. DO: Hit the books at the compass tables. There's a lot to be said for seeing and being seen.
DON’T: Waste money on overpriced Urban tanks. You’re not hipster enough to go in there, anyway. DO: Take a pair of scissors to your Greek Week shirt. It was already a crime of fashion anyway.
DON’T: Spend date night smangin' it in your Radian single. Everyone can see you from Walnut, anyway. DO: Take your special somebody to dinner someplace fancy, like the outdoor patio at Stephen Starr’s Parc. Couple that with an evening stroll through breezy Rittenhouse Square and you’re sure to seal the deal.
DON’T: Wear your Penn ‘13 Vintage Ivy Sweatshirt. Class pride is cute, but not having beads of sweat cascading off your forehead is cuter. DO: Sport your Fling tanks a week early. Don’t worry about wearing ‘em again the next weekend because let’s be honest, no one’s gonna remember anyway.
DON’T: Settle for a class indoors. Fisher–Bennett is so last season. DO: Lobby your professor to hold class somewhere like Perelman Quad. Protip: petitions make everything look really legit.
DON’T: Waste mounds of cash on cabs or take your life into your hands on SEPTA. DO: Rent a bike from the Quad/Hill and ride on into Center City. The trip’s only around 15 minutes and there are designated bike lanes the whole way. Just be prepared for major crotch soreness the next day.
