1.    What did you bring to show-and-tell as a child?

a.    A $100 bill

b.    A Quick Wrap from Conair

c.     A taxidermy hamster

2.    Who is your celebrity alter ego?

a.    Scott Disick

b.    Tanning Mom

c.     The-guy-who-ran-for-elections-in-New-Hampshire-with-a-rainboot-on-his-head

3.    What do you eat for breakfast?

a.    Eggs with a side of gold dust

b.    Kale smoothie

c.     Quinoa yogurt

4.    Your idea of a romantic date includes:

a.    A serenade by Barry Manilow

b.    Getting bottle service at Le Bain

c.     Giving each other astrology tattoos

5.    What’s the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep?

a.    NASDAQ

b.    How to get a butt like 2 Chainz’s big booty hoe

c.     Antique lampshades


Welcome to finance, you little businessman/woman. Good think you look fucking rad in a pantsuit. Money was on your mind way before Sam Smith was anything other than America’s most common name. You #killit in #finance, always, you bo$$.


You’re a little willld. You probably go to Smokes on Tuesday. Maybe one time you befriended a bouncer at Rumor. You might even be a comm major. You love the good things in life and people love being around you, sometimes. So congrats, you fun betch, you’re going to be in PR. Who knows, your first press release might even be for Sweetgreen.


You’re so ~unconventional~. You probably don’t even need a job because you will be content staring at 6 o’clock rays of sun beaming through the dirty window of your Williamsburg studio loft. You dream of freelancing for Vice, but when they don’t pick up your documentary on hippy napkin makers, you realize you need money. You’ll probably end up in consulting because like, you’re not working for the man, kind of…