Confused GDI: Whatever, dude, it doesn’t matter. Half of the class is in A’s so we’re gonna do well.

JAP: I only get mail when my dad sends me a black card.

Theos Soph: I just have to make sure that girls aren’t dating me just so that their kids will get into Penn.

Demure Asian: They all told me to put my girlfriend’s head in my butt.

Nurse at Student Health: I mean, no shit Sherlock.