This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.4.2014
To: Jennifer Lynn Farley, President of MTV
From: Satan, Prince of Darkness and Vice President of Cross–Promotional Development
Re: My Super Sweet Idea
Hey Jen!
Last night, me and the guys at the executive synergization dynamics meeting were talking a lot about the extremely popular and definitely timeless show “My Super Sweet 16.” We think that we can leverage the brand power of that show through other Viacom–affiliated platforms—on TV, and ON THE NET—to dynamicize the network earnings and ad revenue and businessword–businessword–copyandpastelater.
MSS16 (that’s what the kids are calling it these days) caters to a very specific audience of terrible young white people—which is great! That’s MTV target market. But these days, diversity and shit like that is important for tricking people into thinking we care about the issues, whatever those may be. For a while, we were stumped about how to do this. My Super Asian Sweet 16 didn’t sound good. America isn’t yet ready for My Super Sweet Lesbian Wedding. And test audiences found My Super Sweet BlackMitzvah to be both confusing and extremely offensive.
Finally, we hit on it. We assembled a crack team of writers (literally! Thanks for all the crack!) from some of television’s most popular shows, including “Date My Mom,” “Survivor: Papua New Guinea,” “Say Yes to the Dress,” “Total Request Live” and “The Wire.” We told them to pitch us their best thought–explosions and brain–lines for how to make MSS16 into a multimedia empire.
Please examine the attached addendum, which lists some of the many excellent, morebusinesswordshere ideas that we put together.
Sincerely,
Stan (hopefully this doesn’t autocorrect to Satan, haha, for some reason that keeps happening)
