1.The preteen boy who refuses to play his Nintendo DS on anything but full volume, but you’re afraid to say anything because he’ll badmouth you on Twitter, and he has more followers than you.

2. The guy who should have bought two plane tickets and keeps offering you Nilla Wafers to make up for the fact that your seat is now a third of its actual size.

3. The woman who interrogates you to find out if you’d be a suitable match for her son.

4. The seven–year–old who will never forgive you once you badmouth the Frozen soundtrack.

5. The really nervous tween girl who chose 50 Shades of Grey as her in–flight movie and can’t stop giggling, blushing and checking to see if her mom is coming down the aisle.

6. The guy who steals your pillow while you aren’t looking and lies about it when you ask why he has two.

7. The baby whose mom refuses to pay attention to him and therefore thinks your arm is a suitable substitution for whatever state–of–the–art teething toys its mother brought for him.

8. The grown man in a suit who you think looks like a perfectly fine flight buddy, but as soon as he falls asleep, you become painfully aware he’s having a sex dream.

9. Two people. Because sitting in the middle fucking sucks.


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