Glaringly douchey frat bro on Locust: I have got to stop being so nice. Ya know, to girls that aren't hot and stuff.
Beta blowhard: I told her she was one cheeseburger away from becoming obese.
Srat star at the Palestra: Are we in DRL right now?
Phi pledge at Wawa: Ding, ding, ding. I have a small penis!
Insightful girl walking out of class: At night, he drunkenly sent me Drake lyrics, so that’s how I knew he was into me.
Frat guy leaving Smokes': Does anyone want to know how much my tab was?