Jobless Junior: I stress bought a rotisserie chicken. 

Member of the lonely hearts club to a friend in Huntsman: I posted an ad to find you a valentine on craigslist. Don't worry, I didn't put your name or number—just linked to your Facebook. 

Theta freshman 1: OMG I love your boots where did you get them? 

Theta freshman 2: Israel. 

Music prof: Can anyone tell me where Bohemia is? 

Daddy's yacht girl: Is that in the Bahamas? 

Undesirable No. 1: I'm an awful cook, but I'm really good at standardized tests