Jobless Junior: I stress bought a rotisserie chicken.
Member of the lonely hearts club to a friend in Huntsman: I posted an ad to find you a valentine on craigslist. Don't worry, I didn't put your name or number—just linked to your Facebook.
Theta freshman 1: OMG I love your boots where did you get them?
Theta freshman 2: Israel.
Music prof: Can anyone tell me where Bohemia is?
Daddy's yacht girl: Is that in the Bahamas?
Undesirable No. 1: I'm an awful cook, but I'm really good at standardized tests
