Thirsty girl: What could pos- sibly be more important than fucking me right now?

Eerily calm girl at Pottruck on the phone: I hate her. Her face is so round and cute and small. I just want to cut out the happiness and joy and all the goodness from her face.

Girl with standards: The criteria for hooking up with me is more extensive than just having a penis.

Guy in Frontera: Major in econ. The power of money compels you.

Street Writer: I saw a headline about bleached assholes and thought of you.

Guy in Brazzers sweatshirt to sophomore girl outside Smokes: Wait do you think I'm an asshole? I thought we settled on annoying.