Most Relatable Girl Ever: I have no reason to believe this, but I'm like, pretty sure I'm pregnant.
Modern Economist: Why don't ZBT and SDT just combine to form one organization?
Explanatory Jewish Bro: My mohel fucked up–– that's my excuse for my small penis.
Empathetic Friend: She got laryngitis from sucking too much dick.
Future Sugar Daddy: I accidentally made out with a 14–year–old and it got posted on a makeout website.
Preacher Describing Street: Brainwashed, lib- eral and hell–bound.
MBA at the Compass: My Seamless password is "Wharton."
Lost Engineer: What is JMHH?
Small Child/ Future Player: Who said you could tell people you're my girlfriend? You ain't my girlfriend.
PSCI Professor: It's the type of thing John Locke would be pleased to know I'm doing.