Girl talking about friend’s past date: One woman’s champagne provider is another one’s aggressive DFMO.

Transformed Phi guy: Honestly, like I wasn't sick in high school but now I fucking drink all the time and smoke all the time, I'm sick bro.

Champ: I can’t believe I happy hour–ed for four hours. 

Kid with horsepower: I’m just really excited to throw a golf bag over my shoulder, you know? 

Cartier bracelet snob: How come you don’t have three? 

Smokes' music groupie: I feel like this is the kind of music they would play in Africa. 

Honest comedian: I think queefs are so funny but also so scary