1. We like the sanitary aspect of the no–button elevators—very on–theme for the whole don’t–spread–sick–person germs. However, we do have a secret fear that the lady at the front desk will accidentally send us to a floor where there’s a cult meeting and we’ll unknowingly wander in and be sucked into membership only to come out three years later thinking it's 1875.
  2. A random Subway in the lobby? Frankly, this is the third time I've been to SHS in six days for strep and I'm not having it. I'll have a monster BLT, please. Might grab some Axis on the way home because this week sucks and I deserve it.
  3. Free condoms. This is truly a glorious thing. It might be extremely inconvenient to have to walk all the way here to get them, but since we’re already en route to get sinus infection meds anyway, we might as well grab a handful. This would arguably be less awkward than soliciting them from the RA you've only known for a month. 
  4. We’re curious about the distance from campus because that walk is an ordeal. Was it perhaps a purposeful attempt at getting sick people to breathe air that’s not just the Penn bubble’s specialty cycle of germs, stale beer and pizza? Possibly. 
  5. It must sting a little when flu shots are offered at pop–up places on campus. We feel like that was your domain and it was sort of stolen out from under you. For us college students, convenience is key. Sorry. 
  6. So the real chicken–and–egg dilemma is this: Does Penn like PNC because SHS is inside their building and it just wants to continue the trend, or is SHS in a PNC building because of their little ATM flirtation on campus? Food for thought.
  7. There’s free Plan B? Why did we not take advantage of this when both the CVSs on campus ran out during NSO? So many hours of, “I mean I know I had my period but what if I’m pregnant?” could have been saved. Bless you, SHS, your name will never be blasphemed again.
  8. Do you ever just look around the waiting room at all the other people and you think, "Damn, odds are one of these people here is for chlamydia or something?" Right??? Just me? Okay.