PC Girl: It’s a really interesting story. I was going to say ‘fun story’ but, like, it involves slavery, so I feel like I shouldn’t put those two words in the same sentence.

Yogi whose class we want to go to: And I was just like ‘That was definitely not what I was expecting to happen during downward dog.’

Informative gifted girl: I don’t know if you know, but I don’t go to that class because I’m so good at it.

Lonely narcissist: The only boy that’s called me pretty this week was a homeless man.

Faux Vegas Elvis: I was a minister in a fake wedding last night.

Lover 1: I want to watch The Wolf of Wall Street.

Lover 2: He does coke off someone’s ass in that movie. That’s something you refused to let me do!