With only one day until our President is a toupee–wearing version of the Lorax, Highbrow has decided to go #unfiltered just like good ol’ Donald would do. You’ve had your break from our drama, but now we’re back and going to reveal some shit that could use Olivia Pope’s damage control.

Penn's Men's Crew team almost had to row their way back to Philadelphia after their week–long training trip. The boys pre–gamed their flight a little too hard, showed up to the airport intoxicated and were unable to board the plane. After getting into an argument with the Southwest agents, security was brought onto the scene. Maybe they should’ve stuck with what they know and just booze–cruised back to Penn.

What happens when you set off a bottle rocket indoors, kick a four–year–old in the face and pee in a public place? Just ask Phi. After what they had hoped to be a phun–philled trip to the FunPlex, these boys were just lucky they didn’t all end up in jail. They were asked over the loudspeaker to leave the venue for disturbing the peace after only 15 minutes and went out to their buses, only to find that their drivers were missing (Ed. note: One of the drivers was found eating alone in Applebee's). With police in hot pursuit, these Phine men made their way to the other side of the parking lot, in an attempt to escape the police as they were surrounded. One rush was taken away in an ambulance, while the rest of the boys found their way back to Penn.

Girls' rush also got a little hectic over the weekend as the battle between off– and on–campus organizations commenced. The girls over at Tridelt got their hands on the OAX bid list and sent it out to the other members of their sorority, letting them know they should reach out to any girls they liked with the hope of convincing them that they’d “messed up.” Let’s just pray nobody gets a hold of Theta’s sacred burn book this coming week.

Speaking of Tridelt, one of its sophomores got herself into a sticky situation this past Monday at SAE golf night. The gal got naked from the waist up and let freshmen rushes lick chocolate sauce off her boobs. She then pulled her pants off and wore just her thong, letting the eager frosh lick off more of that chocolatey goodness from her cheeks. We applaud her for giving few fucks and wearing fewer clothes.

Correction: In a previous version, the crew team's encounter with airport security was described incorrectly, as was the number of rowers involved in the incident. Street regrets the error. 


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