The Virgin Mary herself: What if I just become a born–again virgin? People do that, right? Like, I'm just going to profess myself a virgin.
Honest Friend: Every weekend you don't fuck erases a guy.
Mary: Oh God, I need like three years.
Downtown Sinner: I needed Jesus today, but the church was locked. Probably the worst rejection I've had by a boy.
OG JAP: Oh yeah, totally, you see her walking down the street and you're like "JAP."
Drunk, philosophical white girl, probably history major: It's just such a turn–on when a guy has a favorite founding father.
Wharton forum troll: Is nut sack one word or two...?
Party girl: Last time he got really drunk, he peed in a closet.
More aware party girl: At least he didn't set it on fire...
Inseparable homies: If we fart, we're gonna fart right into each other's butts.