It all started last February when everyone around me was talking about their summer jobs. You could say the stress got to me, but really... it was just curiosity. I didn’t necessarily plan on applying to any jobs that night; I just wanted to see what was out there.

But from the moment I opened that first application and felt the sensation of filling out the application questions, the rush of attaching my resume, and the excited nervousness that came when my mouse moved across that “apply” button at the bottom of the screen and clicked, I knew I was hooked. Now I can’t go more than half an hour without searching LinkedIn and finding an application to fill out. I’ve got a rhythm down: every morning, hit Handshake bright and early. Then I hit Glassdoor, Monster, even Indeed sometimes when I’m desperate, because I just can’t let any job slip by. The fields don’t matter to me—finance, marketing, engineering, entertainment, animal rights activism, artist assisting, prop styling, food testing, and sometimes even the rare ferret training are all fields willing to accept my application. The green check marks, the feeling for ten seconds as if I’m doing something actually productive—what a rush.

What’s happened in the time since this addiction started? Well, it’s been seven months since I applied for my first job, and six since I got my first offer. Since then I’ve gotten 236 offers, but I haven’t had time to respond to any of them. I feel it’s important to keep an open mind, in case anything better comes along.

Now that the summer is over, it’s getting harder and harder to find summer jobs to apply for. I often worry how I’ll be able to feed my addiction once December hits and Handshake goes dark. It’s… too upsetting to consider. To be honest, those sketchy Craigslist listings to be an unlicensed massage therapist or sexy stripper are getting more and more attractive to me. It’s September now, though, and I’m faithful that summer internship applications will be released for next summer soon enough. Until then, please keep me in mind for any summer job openings you hear of. I’m quite desperate and feel kind of behind, as I’ve heard that for full time post grad jobs, companies won’t even accept applicants without summer experience.