Righteous Urban Cowboy: "He walks like a degenerate and his pants aren't even tucked into his boots."

Observant Member of JRP: "Is it weird to you guys that Hasidic Jews and hipsters dress the same?"

Nursing Professor: "With magic mushrooms, you don't know if you're getting those or mushrooms that will eat your liver. That's a real thing. There are mushrooms that look like shrooms but will eat your liver."

Torn Srat Star when asked if she would attend the women's march: "I wish, but no. I'm going to darty at a frat where I will most likely be objectified."

GEOL 125 Student: "There's only one rock I care about, and it's Kid Rock."

Morally–Bankrupt Preprofessional: "Is it bad to network at a memorial service?"

SWUG: "That was our MO freshman year: hooking up with all our friends."