Contemporary Nostalgist: “Do you have Cardi B on vinyl?”

Prospective Oil Baroness in HubBub: “I just struck a deal with the Saudis.”

Disgruntled Probable Conservative: "My professor used the word 'thought leader' and now I think less of him. Anyone who uses that word definitely votes Democrat, like, all the time."

Future Sexy Librarian: “I, too, get aroused in the stacks.”

Uber Supremacist: "Lyft is my kryptonite."

Kid upon seeing the Pee Statue: "Oh my god, it's Isaac Newton."

Basically Mother Theresa: “I wanna give head but don’t want to increase my dick count.”

... and Her Enabler: “Sucking dick doesn’t count.”