Life Saver: The best thing about being on MERT is seeing kids you saved from alcohol poisoning in class the next day.

Refreshingly Honest Wharton Prof: Think of this class as a lesson of how to make money without going to jail. 

Visiting Professor: I don’t care if you all get A’s. I don’t work here. What can they do to me? 

Confused Liberal: Republicans really like me and I don’t know how to make it stop.

Freshman in Denial: I think the reason Tortas is so slow is because all their food is made so authentically. 

Turnitin Schemer: Research papers are just plagiarisms with citations. 

In His Head: Raise your hand if when you were a kid, you thought that when a guy’s football helmet flew off his head also flew off. 

Westchester, NY Native: I thought the whole world was Jewish until I was 8. 


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