Life Saver: The best thing about being on MERT is seeing kids you saved from alcohol poisoning in class the next day.
Refreshingly Honest Wharton Prof: Think of this class as a lesson of how to make money without going to jail.
Visiting Professor: I don’t care if you all get A’s. I don’t work here. What can they do to me?
Confused Liberal: Republicans really like me and I don’t know how to make it stop.
Freshman in Denial: I think the reason Tortas is so slow is because all their food is made so authentically.
Turnitin Schemer: Research papers are just plagiarisms with citations.
In His Head: Raise your hand if when you were a kid, you thought that when a guy’s football helmet flew off his head also flew off.
Westchester, NY Native: I thought the whole world was Jewish until I was 8.