Parents Weekend Observer: Yeah, Smokes was lame for an hour. But then everyone and their literal mothers showed up.
OCR Sage: We accept the jobs we think we deserve.
History Buff: You know the Ancient Greeks? They ate ass.
Construction Worker Near the Quad: I gotta piss so bad it’s coming out of my asshole, belly button, and toes.
Self–Aware Prof: Semesters are like the Western front. It’s a battle of attrition.
Brave Freshman: One time I stuck my hand into a car outlet and it smelled like sausage.
Real Housewife of Penn: I feel like getting HPV would really ruin my chances of marrying well.
Art Appreciator: I came for the lesbian porn, I stayed for the surrealism.
