Diversity Expert: You have a nose ring, so you’re not completely white. 

Stickler: Ya we almost had sex. He really wanted to but I kept saying, ‘I can’t. It’s no nut November.’

Addict in The Huntsman Bathroom: I came here 2 minutes before class to quickly juul. 

Romantic: I want to spend time with her, but if I spend time with a girl I have to bang her too. 

A Relic from the 1850s: They want my money but not my filthy Irish bog blood. 

Future Pledge Master: Alcohol just tastes better when someone forces it down your throat. 

Considerate Game of Thrones Fan: I only watch in lecture. I don’t want the girl who sits behind me to get lost.

Daughter of White Collar Criminal: Is my inheritance gone?

Woke Partier: I heard a crowd of white people shout the n–word at Backlot. The cauc–acity.


Comments

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.