Networking Opportunist: “LinkedIn is just like Tinder once you’re in banking.”

Tidying Enthusiast: “I should Marie Kondo my friends with benefits.”

Proud Penn Mom: “I have my Jack Daniels shirt under my Penn Mom shirt because I’m a classy bitch.”

COMM Major: “The only thing you have sometimes is attendance when you’re stupid.” 

Econ Professor: "In some economies they buy bread with a few grams of cocaine.”

Lightweight in Denial: “I think I have a pretty high tolerance, I just reach it really quickly.”