Biology Professor with a Hallucinogenic Side: "Academics don’t know anything about wild secondary plant compounds. Shamans do, though.”

Confused Prospective Apiarist: “Is Penn beekeeping a euphemism or do they actually keep bees?”

Married to Math 104: “I want to hook up with this guy, but I have to go to math class.”

Advanced–Aged Botany Professor: “Anyone from my generation will tell you that marijuana grown in the shade is, well, shit marijuana.”

Member of the Gay Old Party: “I'm dating a guy now, and he’s a Republican with a big dick. So yeah, I'm done with you.”

Humblebrag Professor: "One of my tweets went viral this weekend."