Saw Chris Evans in 'Knives Out': “I'm a seasonal bisexual, I just really like men in sweaters."

Big Formal Energy: “Should I ask him to formal? He has 6’3” energy in a 5’7” body.”

DP, Inc. Exec. Ed.: “I would love to meet with you right now, but I really need to prioritize Cyber Monday.”

Guest lecturer: “So, I was dealing with three murderers last summer…”

Exhausted by memes: “How did they manage to sexualize photosynthesis?"

Thinker: “An orgy … like a different type of Friendsgiving.”

UTB EIC: “I’m on top of the button now!” 

East Coast Prof.: “Normally, if you use 'lifestyle' in a paper, I will underline it and ask are you from California?'"

Ivy League Grandmother: “Jury duty would be lucky to have someone of your qualifications."

Detox Queen: “I need to like, leave U. City.”

Future part–time student: “Hey, do you want some advance registration wine?"

“I thought you were supposed to let your freak flag fly in journalism." 

Name–dropping Econ Prof.: “You know, my good friend is a very important politician in Spain.”


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