Fresh and Flakey: "Can I ask you a favor? Can you take the dandruff out of my hair?"
Swiftie (derogatory): "Guys, if you think about it, Taylor Swift is a dictator."
A literal child: "Can I please buy you soup?"
Functioning adult: "No, I'm not a baby."
Jake Gyllenhaal, probably: "Maybe Taylor Swift is the problem."