Charcuterie Connoisseur: "Who eats salami? Like, a sausage I can get behind. Oh, I can get behind a sausage."

The Male Monica Lewinsky: "This suit may be giving bar mitzvah, but at least I look like a fuckable intern."

Silver Star Lesbian: "Did I date a man for a year and half? Yes. Did I ever swallow his cum? Absolutely the fuck not."

The Whoreschach Test: "It’s giving softcore porn rabbit."

Will Fuck for Project Pages: "Engineers are always in that 'heteroflexible until proven otherwise' category."