Maneater with Social Anxiety: "Messing with men online is one of my favorite pastimes."

Breaking the Jew Code: "He's just throwing his brisket around willy–nilly, not caring who he hurts.”

Wannabe New York Times Fellow: "I would never have sex with the door fully open ... maybe ajar though.”

Unsurprisingly, A Heterosexual: "As a heterosexual, I can sense heterosexual energy, and he's not giving that."

Backwards Bandleader: "Strings and percussion: the two genders."