Human Cheese Grater: "I was a biter at two; by three, I was reformed; and by five, I was back to biting."

Goop Apologist: "Gwyneth Paltrow definitely commissioned an NFT of her own vagina."

Moi, Je m'appelle Lolita: "I only adopt patriotism as a Lana del Rey–esque aesthetic and nothing beyond that."

The Indoorsy Type: "Rugged?! I literally put deodorant on my thighs."

Neurotypical Marxist: "I will not fall victim to your fidget toy industrial complex."