Serfs Anonymous: "I think I was a peasant in my past life. I have peasant taste."

I Really Like You, But(t): "No babe I love you let's do anal ahaha"

Self–taught OB/GYN: "I would never make such a massive mistake as to refer to you as fertile."

Aspiring Magician: "It was healthy until we sawed it in half."

Is Actually Jewish: "I gave up my sanity for Lent and I haven't gotten it back yet."