Acclaimed sexuality and relationships expert Logan Levkoff’s (C ‘98, GSE ‘99) crucial entrance into the world of sex began with a banana and a condom on her dinner table.
Growing up in the midst of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, Levkoff explains that safe sex quickly became a growing point of conversation. “One day, my parents left condoms and bananas for me and my sister on our dinner table and said, ‘This is how you use a condom. Next week, you become an educator.’” She continues, “I was really comfortable using my voice, so this seemed like a natural place for me to speak up.”
Coming to college, Levkoff discovered another side of sexual education. It wasn’t just about safe sex; it was about relationships as well. Levkoff found herself being the “counselor” for a lot of her peers. “I noticed that young women—really smart, really sophisticated women—who were unmatched in so many ways, fell apart when it came to their relationships,” she says. It wasn’t because they weren’t using condoms or protection. Instead, “[There was] no pleasure, no equity,” Levkoff remembers. “[We were] not able to talk about our needs, wants, and boundaries. I just thought: ‘We’re too smart for this.’”
Hoping to destigmatize conversations about sex, Levkoff became a sex columnist at Street, under the name “Mistress Lola.” “It was a big deal to be talking about sex at all. So, I was really hoping to give students a place to talk really candidly about sex in unapologetic ways and have someone who wasn’t going to be judgmental. It was supposed to be like you were talking to a friend,” she says. While at Penn, Levkoff also joined FLASH (Facilitating Learning About Sexual Health) and wrote for the women’s magazine Generation XX.
Levkoff continues to carry that same voice throughout her work today. “Yes, I’m a professional in this space. Yes, I’m an expert. But I never want to be known as someone who puts herself on a pedestal. I really just want to be like the girl next door who just happens to have expertise in sex,” she says.
After spending nearly 30 years in this field—from putting condoms on bananas at her dining room table, to her days with Street, to speaking in hundreds of schools and talking about sex on television—Levkoff has reaped the benefits of watching the field of sexual education change. She says, “It’s been incredibly exciting, from the things that we can talk about to the diversity within the field. There are so many different voices, they all matter, and they can all offer us something more than what we currently have.”
Today, Levkoff is an acclaimed sexuality and relationships expert, educator, and author who’s been featured in numerous publications and television shows including Good Morning America, CNN, and The New York Times. Based in New York, she spends her day–to–day in schools, working with students, parents, and faculty training. “I have this amazing privilege of working with young people and being not just a sounding board for them, but someone who sees them for who they are. It’s exactly what I was doing at Penn, just with a slightly younger and slightly older audience,” Levkoff says.
Every day, she voices the importance of having open and candid conversations about sex. “My mission is to make us feel empowered by our sexuality—regardless of how we choose to express it—and not ashamed of it. We all have one. We just might experience it differently,” she says. “Once we realize how important sexuality is to who we are, all of the time, then we can start having honest conversations.”
Coming out of COVID–19, Levkoff explains a change in the new generation of college students: Many young people have developed a fear of intimacy, both physical and emotional, which she believes has stemmed from lost opportunities to take intimate, emotional, sexual, and romantic risks. As current Penn students face the repercussions of COVID–19 and navigate a new climate, perhaps we can listen to Levkoff’s advice: “Vulnerability—putting yourself out there and sharing your feelings—is a really important growth experience. Rejection is a thing. I don’t know any human being who hasn’t experienced rejection. So, join the club!”
After all, you don’t need to be an acclaimed sex therapist like Logan Levkoff to empower yourself with a more fulfilling and empowering sex life. Just be vulnerable, get rejected, and talk about sex.
