Charlie Javice: "Embezzlement doesn't count if it's by accident."

Ron DeSantis: "I consider myself the John McCain of the streets."

DeSantis' next victim: "He didn't sound like a predator, I think he just wanted to help fund our binge–drinking habit."

Not Lindy Chamberlain: "Do they even have newspaper in Australia?"

Charitable misandrist: "It's like we match donations. Let me match your love for APES with my hate."