Film & TV
Jaa-rule
Certain films, like Prachya Pinkaew's Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior, exist as nothing more than a platform to display a person's tremendous physical talents.
A Better than average chick flick
Though all the hopeless romantics out there hoping to meet and fall in love with a male escort might disagree, The Wedding Date is a disappointment.
The Jamie Foxx Show
Best Picture: The Aviator Finding Neverland Million Dollar Baby Ray Sideways According to most experts, 2004 was a poor year for movies.
Love Me, Mr. Darcy
Jane Austin started it. Helen Fielding's modernized it. Now, director Gurinder Chadha (Bend it Like Beckham) has taken the novel Pride and Prejudice (as well as women's perpetual lust for Mr. Darcy) and injected some good ol' Bollywood in it.
We're not singing
A Love Song for Bobby Long aims to be an off-kilter yet heartwarming tale, but mostly it just plants itself in the middle of Crazyville and refuses to leave.
Charlie, You So Crazay
Remember your quirky and obnoxious imaginary friend who liked to throw spaghetti and cut people's hair while they slept?
Spring movies and such
As far as movies are concerned, the first few months of any year always suck. Since major studios tend to release their Oscar contenders in the summer and fall, all they can serve the hungry nerds now are mere table scraps.
BUT They Were so cute!
And you thought Bennifer was the break-up to end all break-ups. It may have been a week late, but Hollywood gave celebrity gossipers the best Christmas gift imaginable a couple of weeks ago.
Hilary swank looks like a man...
Million Dollar Baby is the conventional movie that everyone's sure to like a lot, but not to love.
Assault on our intelligence
Jean-Francois Richet's remake of John Carpenter's 1976 film Assault on Precinct 13 could almost be billed as a parody of the typical action flick.
Basketball a la Carter
In 1999 Ken Carter, head coach of an inner city high school basketball team in California, created a large controversy when he locked out his undefeated team because they were doing poorly in school.
Hot sticky sugar sweet
This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue. While interning at Vivid Video, I happened upon a script featuring one of my good friends in a, ahem, special movie.
Singing to a different poon
This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue. Misty Beethoven: The Musical is destined for Oscar glory.
Alexander the gay
Oliver Stone's bloated new epic Alexander is really, really gay. Overt male homoeroticism pervades almost every other scene.
Worse Than watching paint dry
Because we know more about film than all of Hollywood (and by the transitive property, that means all of you too), we thought we'd present to you, our glorious readers, the grandest film gaffes of the year 2004.
Stop in the name of law!
Closer features one of the most beautiful casts ever assembled. Alice (Natalie Portman) and Dan (Jude Law) face an obstacle in their relationship when Anna (Julia Roberts) is hired to take Dan's picture for a book cover jacket and a passionate kiss between the two ensues.
Jerry Bruckheimer is a Garish Assclown
Within the first 10 minutes of National Treasure, a gunpowder-packed treasure ship, submerged under the icy tundra, explodes.
Go Hasselhoff, Go
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie tries to be broad enough to appeal to a wide variety of audiences, but ultimately fails to please any.
Battle of the online rentals
In the age of campusfood, eBay and amazon.com, leaving the house has become a thing of the past. Now we can sit at home on the couch, wallowing in our own lethargy as the world's bounty is delivered right to our door.
