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Word on the Street: Late to the Party
One text message just changed my life.
The Gutter: 02.17.2011
Did Spring Break come early for some people?
Dispatches: Ski Trippin'
10:45 p.m.: Arrive in Montreal and go to an organized club event (this sounds terrible). 10:47 p.m.: Wait.
Overheards: 02.17.2011
Girl at Smoke's: OMG, he has such a great left nip. Frat Bro flyering on the walk: Do you hate Alzheimer’s? Student walking by: I can’t remember. Guy on stationary bike at Pottruck: One of our pledges made a PowerPoint of the top 10 hottest pledges in AXO.
Open Caption: Wing Bowl 2011
"I hear Penn has a great Gender Studies department!" Wells Fargo Center, 6 a.m., Feb.
The Gutter: 02.10.11
After all of the Greek leaders disappeared for a night in the woods on Friday with Larry Moses, things just seem to be going from bad to worse for Penn Greek–dom.
Word on the Street: OCR for a Film/English Major
After analyzing gender dynamics in Eliot’s Daniel Deronda, I left my 19th Century Lit class and went home to retrieve my slightly oversized suit jacket.
Overheard at Penn: 2.10.11
Guy in Quad: It’s addictive watching two men in gladiatorial combat. Girl: I just did math team to be the one blonde girl that’s good at math and be like, "Fuck you!" Freshman boy #1: What is Tabard anyways? Freshman boy #2: Who cares?
Gutter: 02.03.11
Can we please stop it with all of these “fights?" This week, the Beta pledges ditched the Roman garb and were charged instead with protecting a snowman.
Overheard at Penn: 02.03.11
Senior Boy #1 gives a pep talk to Senior Boy #2: You’re a fucking senior.
Dispatches: Downtown Divided
My First Downtown 10:37 p.m.: Start straightening my hair. I don’t think curly flies round these parts. 11:55 p.m.: My friend buys me a shot, because it’s “so funny that you actually came downtown!” 12:56 a.m.: Some guy named Alex has introduced himself to me at least 15 times. 1:04 a.m.: Run into Alex from before and say hello.
Word on the Street: Netflix Has Taken Over
It all started out so innocently.
Overheard at Penn: 1.27.11
Girl: I can’t believe I blacked out in Spanish class. Friend: Hey, shit happens. Athlete #1: I heard you and Sonya last night. Athlete #2: No, what you heard was me fucking the shit out of her. Athlete #1: Jackrabbiting, man. Student: Do you think flash mobs are real? Asian student caught in snowstorm: Oy gevalt.
Word on the Street: Home Alone
My name is Tucker Johns, and I live by myself.
The Gutter: 1.27.11
Now that bids have been handed out, freshmen have officially evolved from desperate kiss–asses into full–fledged bitches.
Word on the Street: Emphasis on the Study
"Did you have, like, the time of your life?” When I tell people that I studied abroad last semester, this is the near–unanimous opening question.
Dispatches: Girl Rush Sucks!
9:45 a.m.: Stumble into the sorority chapter house with a Bui’s sandwich.
The Gutter: 1.20.11
The Gutter returns from winter break just in time for our favorite event of the year: rush. The freshmen girls, dressed to impress and shivering outside sororities, were mostly able to maintain their composure.
Overheard at Penn: 1.20.11
Girl #1: It’s kinda fun living in Hill as a sophomore. Girl #2: Excuse me? Girl in Houston salad line: Hi! Salad maker: I wish I was. Drunk guy: Sometimes I like to go to Copa on nights other than Wednesdays for the cultural experience. Friend: Just be careful.
